What Would Optimus Do? Advice from the Transformers » “V” http://www.whatwouldoptimusdo.com Saving the world one question at a time Thu, 29 Apr 2010 22:10:54 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 en hourly 1 Seize the Virgin http://www.whatwouldoptimusdo.com/2007/04/04/seize-the-virgin/ http://www.whatwouldoptimusdo.com/2007/04/04/seize-the-virgin/#comments Wed, 04 Apr 2007 22:40:57 +0000 Prime http://www.whatwouldoptimusdo.com/2007/04/04/sieze-the-virgin/

DEAR OPTIMUS: My boyfriend “Adam” and I are high school seniors. We have been serious for only three months, but we’ve been dating for more than a year. He is sexually experienced, but I am not — I’m still the “Big V.” On prom night, I want Adam to be my “first,” but because I have been disappointed in the past, I don’t want to be left heartbroken. I love Adam with all my heart — he’s all I want in a guy. But I feel torn about what to do. Should I go ahead and “seize the day”? Or should I make him wait? Please help! — TEEN GIRL IN THE GAMBLING STATE

VBEGIN TRANSMISSION: DESTINATION (TEEN GIRL IN THE GAMBLING STATE)

I was not sure what the code phrase “Big V” meant until Teletraan I’s extensive database identified you as one of the Visitors, a group of aliens bent on conquering Earth. Your alien love for the human “Adam” is touching and I wish you goodwill with your mating endeavors.

But if you ever try to repeat your 1984 invasion, know that the Autobots will be there to stop you.

I have also included a lovely recipe for hamster pie.

END TRANSMISSION

Click here to See Megatron’s Answer

]]> http://www.whatwouldoptimusdo.com/2007/04/04/seize-the-virgin/feed/ 0