Eat the Meat
DEAR OPTIMUS: My father-in-law was born during the Depression. My question is, what is a safe amount of time to be able to eat meat from the freezer? We have noticed items that are more than 5 years old that my father-in-law insists are still good, “… you just cut off the freezer burn.” We’re afraid he’s going to poison himself. — CONCERNED DAUGHTER-IN-LAW, WELLINGTON, COLO.
BEGIN TRANSMISSION: DESTINATION (COCERNED DAUGHTER-IN-LAW)
I have taken the data from your question and extroplated that your father is well into his seventies. Cross referencing this information with the standard actuarial tables of human life spans, leads me to the conclusion that your father will be dead by the end of the month whether or not he eats this meat.
END TRANSMISSION