Cockteasing Craig
DEAR OPTIMUS: I have a friend, “Craig,” whom I have known almost a year. We have become closer than friends in a lot of ways — except the one way that counts, if you know what I mean. Craig likes to tease me about sex, but says it will never happen because he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship. Do you think it’s fair for him to arouse me and then just run out the door? Craig says he doesn’t want me, but when I go out on dates with other people he gets mad. How should I handle this? — IRRITATED IN GEORGIA
BEGIN TRANSMISSION: DESTINATION (IRRITATED IN GEORGIA)
I actually do not know “the one way that counts,” but I see that later in your question that you mean “the one way that counts” to be sex. I am registering a confusion pattern as to why you just didn’t say sex in the first place instead of using additional binary characters to lose me in a circular logic loop. If you can’t ask a simple question, don’t expect an answer from Optimus Prime.
END TRANSMISSION