Etiquette in Public
DEAR OPTIMUS: In one of my college classes, the professor was adamant about not clapping in the middle of a live theater performance. He said clapping interrupts the performers and should be done only at the end of each piece. Yet every time I attend a concert or ballet, the audience claps after each dance, song or sometimes even a fancy move. What is proper etiquette at a live performance? — LAUREN IN CAVE CREEK, ARIZ.
BEGIN TRANSMISSION: DESTINATION (LAUREN IN CAVE CREEK)
Your human trait of clapping is quite intriguing to me. In the course of my research I believe that I have an answered your century old philosophical quandary: “What is the sound of one hand clapping?” I conducted an experiment with Sparkplug by removing one of his limbs and commanded him to clap. I am delighted to report that the sound of one hand clapping is a scream of pain.
Do not worry about Sparkplug’s distress over dismemberment. I replaced his missing hand with a robotic one.
END TRANSMISSION