Cold Hands
DEAR OPTIMUS: I have cold hands. Because of a medical condition, my hands are either icy from cranked-up air conditioning in the summer or from freezing temperatures in the winter. I hate shaking hands with people because it’s like asking them to hold a block of ice. Should I say something as I’m shaking hands, or should I avoid bringing attention to it and comment only if the other person says something? — ICE PRINCESS IN THE MIDWEST
BEGIN TRANSMISSION: DESTINATION (ICE PRINCESS)
Just rub your tailpipe five or six times before you shake their hand. If you don’t have a tailpipe, I have noticed that human models emanate quite a bit of heat from their reproductive organs. Use that! Make sure to make eye contact or your gesture might be misunderstood. This should allow you to enjoy life.
END TRANSMISSION