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Greetings Humans
I am Optimus Prime. I am neither a licensed psychiatrist or a human. However, my 4,000,000,000 years of existence more than qualifies me to answer your questions. I can also transform into a truck.
I enjoy going to the place where all humans seek knowledge, the human known as "Dear Abby," and giving my answer -- which is the correct answer -- because I am a robot.