Restroom Love
DEAR OPTIMUS: I am in a very awkward situation. I was married last week and am very happy with my new husband, “Ralph.” However, when people ask, “Where did you two meet?” that’s when the glamour shatters. Ralph and I met in a public restroom in a very rundown area that we happened to be vacationing in. Should I just tell them the town? — NEWLYWED IN THE BATHROOM
BEGIN TRANSMISSION: DESTINATION (NEWLYWED IN THE BATHROOM)
I have a situation that is 23.747% similar. When I first met Michael Bay, he mentioned that he created Armageddon. I thought he meant the Interstellar Armageddon of Planet BX12 which destroyed the entire known population of sentient bananas in the universe. I brought him 20,000 light years to stand before an intergalactic tribune before he convinced me that he only created Armageddon…the Movie. Talk about awkward.
I really do miss those fun loving bananas.
END TRANSMISSION